We Don?t See Enough of These In Urban Fantasy Nowadays

Ah, Urban Fantasy. Chock full of vampires, werewolves, demons, angels, witches, fae, among other things. Yet, there are a few UF character possibilities we do not see often enough?

Hi, I?m Keith Melton and I?ll be your degenerate Urban Fantasy tour guide of a few disenfranchised non-human entities.

Hippopotamus shape-shifters

Now we all know hippos actually kill and injure more people every year than sharks, librarians, and poison dart frogs?put together. So why is such a majestically huge and dangerous animal so viciously ignored by the Urban Fantasy community? Imagine the possibilities. A main character on the run from psychotic fae after refusing the Fae King?s romantic overtures. The main character sprints out into the dark, rain-drenched street?right into the path of an oncoming MINI Cooper. He or she shapeshifts into a hippopotamus at the last instant, and the car crumples into a crushed soda can with racing stripes. Also, secondary characters can actually ride atop the hippo shifter, which means they can swim the Delaware River pretty much at will (although, who would want to, really?). This is heavy-duty transport, like an amphibious Humvee, with better gas mileage, but not available in yellow or with power steering.

Red Beret Gnomes

The Special Forces arm of Gnome society wears the Red Beret with pride. While all other gnomes must remain content with pointy red hats, Red Berets bring both style and deadly gnome military prowess to the table. Gnomes are often only included in paranormal and UF as comic relief, leading to large amounts of barely suppressed gnome outrage. However, Red Beret Gnome commandoes once saved an entire Toadstool Forest from decimation by inter- dimensional locusts, and off duty they are widely known to put the ?fun? in fungi.

Note: Leading experts agree that making comments about a gnome?s bright red nose, which is a physical sign the gnome has been throwing back a bit too much strawberry-flavored malt liquor, may lead to a socially awkward moment.

Chainsaw Unicorns

A unicorn with a chainsaw on its head instead of a horn. Enough said.

Alas, neither my vampire/mafia Urban Fantasy?Blood Vice nor?Run, Wolf, my werewolf shifter novella, have any of these refugees from the standard UF bestiary. I do plan to rectify this egregious oversight in the future. However, until such time as I can work in a hippo shifter transporting a squad of Red Beret Gnome Commandoes across a raging river while under attack by Chainsaw Unicorns, readers will have to be content with my standard fare: vampire love and war, explosions, werewolf combat, and swordslinging knights fighting to save humanity from the darkness (or from reality television reruns, whichever is worse). However, I might just have a different surprise up my sleeve with my next book. And no, it?s not flamethrowing Chihuahuas?

Although, that might be awesome too.

Keith Melton

www.keithmelton.net

Links:

Blood Vice

http://www.mybookstoreandmore.com/shop/product.da/blood-vice

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Blood-Vice-Nightfall-Syndicate-ebook/dp/B001VA1O9Y/

Run, Wolf

http://www.mybookstoreandmore.com/shop/product.da/run-wolf

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Run-Wolf-Nightfall-Clans-Book/dp/B002LLCI6K/

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