Guest Blogger: Mychael Black
Writing Romance? From A Male Perspective
When Selena came to me with this blog post idea, I jumped all over it. I just had no clue what to write. Then it occurred to me that I have a unique perspective on the romance writing business when it comes to gender. It?s no secret that I?m transgendered (female to male), and I?m not the only one out there. Not everyone is open about it like I am, and that?s fine. But what it does is give me (and the rest of us) a different viewpoint. I can?t speak for others, but I can tell you what I?ve been through and noticed.
I started writing romance before I decided to transition. While my brain has always been male, I tried to ignore that and just set about being? me. Hence I took the name Kay Derwydd. (Kay from Arthurian legend, Derwydd being Welsh for Druid.) Back then, I used primarily female pronouns, but I?d answer to either. It wasn?t until a few years ago that I realized I couldn?t hide from myself anymore, and I made the decision to transition.
Being on both sides of the coin, so to speak, has helped to hone my writing. My brain is male, and I still write like that. In fact, as more time goes on, the stronger that gets. But I also learned to write as a woman–and believe me, coming from a porn-writing background, that was a feat for me to learn.
The biggest misconceptions regarding author gender tend to revolve around language and the amount of sex vs. the amount of emotion. I try my best to balance both sex and emotion, but it irks me when I see folks saying that men can?t write romance from an emotional perspective, or that women can?t write believable men (and/or gay sex). Part of being an author is using your imagination, yes; but another major aspect to it is knowing how to research. (And no, I don?t mean just watching/reading gay porn.) Asking around, reading (and yes, there are manuals and how-to books out there for gay sex), etc.–those are all invaluable to an author. Just as researching vampire lore, time periods, technology, etc. are when writing about those subjects.
Men DO indeed feel and think with something besides their libido, and women can be just as sex-driven as a hot-blooded male. It might be a learning curve to write what you don?t have experience with personally, but that?s part of the joy of writing.
Mychael Black
Great post. :^)
This is a very imformative post and I enjoyed it. Of your books that I’ve read, I must say that you balance the emotional and physical aspects of relationships very well indeed.
Oh, great post, hon!
Is it alright to admit that my mind is officially blown at this minute?
(*pauses to wipe keyboard from the cola that spurted out of my nose when I read the first paragraph).
Needless to say, I was one of those who had no idea…, but am extremely happy that you are now in a peaceful place! Kudos to you and your courage to face the change and make a difference!
I love how open you are to sharing this part of yourself. Being in this unique situation, you are in a position to shed light to many authors, readers and even those who currently considering the change. My ex is transgendered (from male to female). As a ‘prepublished’ (yet hopeful) m/m writer, I have been blessed with her willingness to share some male/female insights, aiding my endeavors to write the opposite gender more realistic.
I totally agree with you. I too, get down right annoyed with snooty people who let author gender and sexual orientation get in their way of a damn good read! Exactly who are they to deem that only men can write gay fiction or that only women can write an erotic romance? Does a child write childrens books or is a Native American limited to only writing about Indians?
Authors worth their stones are not limited to writing stories that are the same gender and sexual identity as themselves. We have wild imaginations! We have our empathy! We have our own experiences, and watch Dr Phil, Oprah and reality television! We know more about other people, their wants, needs and desires, more so than we know ourselves at times!
In today’s age, with the Internet at our disposal (making research, networking and chatting casually regarding these issues with the opposite sex from around the world) there is no logical reason for this anachronic argument to continue.
By the way Mychal, good blog. And thank you for being the author of so many great books. I always look forward to purchasing one of your stories, as I know it will be a first-class, entertaining and fulfilling read.
Abby Allwynn
georgetalwin@gmail.com
Mychael
This was a terrific post. Your perspective is certainly unique. I love your books!
Very interesting post. I’m curious about the “male brain” concept. What do you see as differentiating a male brain from a female one?
Beautifully said, Mychael.
Bravo! I’m also astonished, and annoyed by the attitude that says women can’t write gay men, men can’t write romance, non-transgendered can’t write transgendered etc.
If such is the case then almost every fiction book ever written must be burned at once as the author is the wrong gender, color, orientation, etc.
Great post!
WOW! Interest!!!
Great post. You added another perspective to the mix.
Mychael,
I am with Abby and was on of the uninformed of your gender. Bravo, Bravo! And I am glad that you are in a good place.
I was very interested in your perspective and appreciate your post very much.
Please keep writing-you are one of my favs.
Hi Mychael,
Loved your post. I think you not only have a great viewpoint, I also agree that we shouldn’t be boxed in– as writers its about imagination, and stereotyping what writers can write about based on gender or anything else is silly and narrow…kudos